Anna Mackiewicz

Poem Uploader: 
Loss

You shook me with a slowly mounting energy that overpowers me without my knowledge.

Loss.

You stare at me with your gaping wound full of insults that numb and hound.

Loss.

You introduce me to a new, slightly altering facade with the same droning echo.

Loss.

You bring me fixations, always unanswered questions, and insinuations.

Loss.

You allow me to ride a flowing tide between extreme self-deprecation and gloating pride.

Loss.

You give me a soul that responds in manners always avoided before.

Loss.

You bring relentles recognition that I never created you but always know you.

Loss. 

You make me aware that, though my flaws might repulse, I have never been guilty of pure flattery right before bringing...

Loss. 

You give me this odd pedestal where I survive you to become this statue of callous withdrawal.

Loss.

At this moment, you have grown mundane, and I no longer feel your name.

Loss.

I write you like an algebraic equation of my own ideation.

Loss.

The fortitude of those around me would humble and impress me, but it is not here.

Loss.

Emptying me and bellowing, my laughter rising and surprising with ghoulish indifference.

Loss.

Seeking all within my full control but not trusting a single soul.

Loss.

You give me too much credit.  You pit of boring, boring inconsistency.

Loss.

I can't disbelieve you, because I know I did see you.   I know that when you look at me, some thoughts the eyes do not fake.

Loss.

I cannot forget, with no regret, the way that you appeared when I fell to my lowest yet.  The same words that adore me leave the mind transformed to awaken to a new, locked door.

Loss. 

I cannot fully say that you had a hidden plan underway to snatch my attention and move me away.

I sense no dark energy.

Loss.

Whether dark or light, manipulative or on sight, similar or conflicted, you are the same.

Loss. 

When you marvel at me, and you always agree that I am where you should be.  Then, you sever yourself.

Loss.

Thoughts are the same, but I feel no physical pain.  You were not all the same, but you brought the same...

Loss.

Now, I think of you, all enchanting and subdued.  I should have cut your tie when I was amused.

Loss.

People, few and far between, left me unseen, but nothing around would have been better than 

Loss.

I walk away, because, within my mind, today, lies a reality better than 

Loss.

I wish to yell and tell you to wreck yourself, but I know you already suffer

Loss.

It doesn't need to be difficult, but you make it a storm.  It could be simple, but you bring the same

Loss.

War and abuse.  Rape and misuse.  I bring love and respect.   You still give me

Loss.

I won't be a menace just to capture your interest, because I would rather be kind, authentic, and still feel stupid

Loss.

You have me whole.  My muscles take the emotions out of me brought by your 

Loss.

I speak of both of you.

Not just you.  But also YOU.

Because both of you brought me satisfaction, energy, magic, and LOSS.

As I write, the pain flows from a chamber that grows.

I felt numb, and, then, I felt you.

Loss.

You knew how I felt.  You suffered it yourself, but you were still capable of bringing me 

Loss.

A good person I am.

So intelligent, you say.

Beautiful. Kind. Enchanting.

You still bring me 

LOSS.

How quick you were, yes

YOU, not you, to respond to me when years passed.

Loss

Available that day, instantly there---you were so eager.  Then, you faded.  I felt the LOSS.

You feel it with her, and yes---you feel it with him.

But both of you find if fair if mine is the LOSS.

To suffer and bear, yours is exhausting and stunning, but I should bear the LOSS.

Never again. You wretched witching tends will fixate upon me.  

LOSS

The only way in the war is to lock your door to block you out.

LOSS

To think I allowed you here and thought you would be the one wouldn't bring LOSS.

Irredescent light.

Of a beauty bound in energy.

Only captured in golden hair and probing eyes.

 

I know you and saw you, if not for more time; I did so for enough.

To whom am I just a curiosity? Who is mine, and who reads?

 

You, I will bore and annoy, and to YOU, I was more than enough before I was not enough.

A weakness in your instability and out of your control?

 

How do we still suffer all of the LOSS?

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